It's the getting there that makes us who we are........

often times something happens in our lives, that changes us, maybe even defines us a little...........

I've had a many of those moments, and for the most part, I have hung my head high and refused to see the darkness, or unfairness in this world. I chose to FIGHT, I choose to smile, I chose to LIVE.

Not always an easy task but that's what I'm made of. I'm hard on the outside, ready to take on anything and everything,(my 4'10 self thinks so) but those that know me best know that my heart is pure, and hopeful and giving, and resilent, and brave, and kind, and freaking GINORMOUS!

I am not bitter but hopeful, I am not lost but always seeking to find my self, my TRUE self.

We never truly lose our way, it's the getting there that makes us WHO we are, and if that means that we question everything, and trust our hearts, then that pardon me does not make me a fool, but wise. I not only encourage it but recommend it.

My past does not define me...
my illness (hydrocepalus) does not define me...
my undying belief that love, and life means I will get my HAPPILY EVER AFTER! Defines me.......

Even if it simply means I never give up hope....

That my friends is MY freaking HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Seasons become a part of our homes, they become traditons, they are welcomed.

So, for those of us who love spring, welcome it, we say come, stay awhile!

Spring has promise....
hope.....
renewal of everything to once again come ALIVE!!!

My spirit longs to bloom right along with those tulips and cherry blossoms, and everything else wonderful beautiful and ViBrAnT and CoLOrFuL about spring. I want to wear sandals and pretty dresses and run and play with my kids in the yard and hear the laughter of the neighborhood children as I clean my house.

Some of us have hibernated right along with the wild and just can't stand it a day or moment longer.

grocery store treat

I picked up some handsome fellow at the grocery store the other day! As in I'll throw in some fruit and apple chips YUMMY! and a oh can't forget to smile at the hottie, outside in the parking lot! Well.......apparently my smile was ENOUGH to bring him over. His line was "Did we go to school together, is that why you smiled at me" my reply as i Smile again, "nope, I'm not from here, for the record I smile at all the people, even old people, but you I smiled at cause you are cute" I said what i was thinking! EESH anyone that knows me knows that's just who I am. Well we chatted for a bit, longer as I continued happily smiling. UNTIL finally he asked if he could me his number and I handed him my phone. and told him to save it in there. We've been texting ever since. Even had plans but I had to cancel our day at the park laying on a blanket. (he's sick) He was worried about getting me sick too, my reply............"as long as you don't kiss me we will be just fine" heee hee WHERE oh WHERE do I come up with this STUFF. It's entertaining even to me, and it's my words coming out of my own mouth. :)

Well I suppose my suprise is that do people really pick each other up at the grocery store? I suppose my blog answers that question.

Dating

Dating......with it's unexpected (someone ordinary might say TWISTS and TURNS but not I my friends), I choose words that are far more descriptive such as Pull, and Yank, bend, curve possibly even twine and definitely zigzag

At the risk of sounding cynical, heck who am I kidding at the risk of becoming cynical and it finding a home in which to dwell, dating is full of constant disappointments, with almost absolutely NO payoff, except to remind oneself of the POSSIBILITY...........
of someone delightful,

I do not, I will not accept someone AVERAGE!
I can not accept someone average, because i am anything but ordinary.

My advice to myself...........keep trudging along.....and let those that didn't make the cut because of their inability to not only recognize and appreciate truth, but to honor and pay homage to it, eat my dust.

I celebrate

The holdiays came, and went. Me, oh, my it certainly is proving to be true........

"The older you get, the faster time flys"

I often wonder what we might do with the information passed down to us, if we actually believed it.

I love winter, because I especially love to see everything renewed, one doesn't have to wait for the New Year, but simply look outside when it snows at the branches holding onto the snow, as if it is embracing it, holding on to it.

Some of us are haunted by "holding on", some of us don't spend enough time,time in the past to fully appreciate the changes within ourselves.

Seasons are a reflection of time and change.

I believe that as we go through this life, we come in contact with people that are supposed to teach us, show us something about ourselves we might not ever have discovered if we hadn't met them. Some people help us to see things in a whole new light, others darken our space, and we have to find the strength from within to turn back on light. Others help us see things a little more clearer. Others cry with us, and laugh with us, they celebrate our joys, and feel our sorrows. For the most part we come to know who we are through other people.

To those I love I celebrated you this season, I celebrated wonderful friends that help me everyday to not forever harden my heart. I celebrate how far i've come. I celebrate that I recognize my blessings, and where they come from. I recognize and celebrate, a mind that allows me to learn and expand it's knowledge. I celebrate my untraditional family, and I celebrate that I kick butt as a single mom. I dont' dwell..... on what would life be like if.... I only have a hope and a promise of what someday will be like when we find that special someone that will add to our happiness and our home. I celebrate life and health and sight for which to see all that I love. I celebrate Me.

Change-

Change of Season........................................................

Is something we all look forward to! With the vibrant reds, and oranges and yellows, it gives me an extra spring in my step. It makes me want to close my eyes....... as I'm outside, and fully extend my arms out to the wind........It's refreshing, invigorating. Somehow it has a renewing effect, on our body, mind, and souls. It takes us back to yesterday, and almost makes us skip along, to tomorrow.

We stay outside.........a little longer
We take in all the vibrant colors...........
We think of warm sweaters, and hayrides, and football games, and pumpkins, and costumes, and trick or treating, candy apples, and candles and ovens once again filling our homes........with all sorts of home cooked meals and yummy treats... Soup, and cornbread and chili, and cookies and rolls............
We think of cozy blankets
We think of apple cider

I was brought to this thought-- If Autumn is a season of changing and so many of us look forward to it, then why is every other change in our lives looked upon so differently??
Why is there an instant feeling of impending "doom" so to say?
Why must we hold on to change, and not want to release it?
We change our socks everyday, but changing our habits, even if it's our hearts desire, is so very challenging, so effortful?
I wonder as silly as this seems what if we slowly began to look @ change as the expected, the anticapted arrival of the colors of our lives unseen, if we could embrace it? Appreciate it, and savor it like the gentle breeze that this Autumn season brings us? What if change was an opportunity for us to change?